Talking to kids about race isn’t just addressing the topic and explaining its nuances, it’s also about instilling empathy, fostering inclusion, and nurturing a member of the next generation that celebrates diversity. These conversations can be sensitive, but are essential for shaping open-minded and compassionate individuals.
Start Early
Children are observant and naturally curious – so it’s important to start these conversations early. Even toddlers can notice differences in skin color and physical features. Rather than shying away or changing the subject, use these observances as opportunities to introduce the concept of diversity, explaining that people can be born with skin colors different from our own.
Be Honest
When broaching difficult subjects like race, honesty is the best policy. Use simple and age-appropriate language to convey your message. For young children, you can make a connection between differences in hair color and eye color to changes in skin color. Explain to them that’s what makes each person special and unique. As children grow older and more mature, you can delve deeper into more complex discussions.
Things like stereotypes and biases can come from a child’s surroundings, media, even their peers. A saying like “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover,” can come in handy here. Explain that judging someone based on their appearance is unfair. Help your child understand that each person is unique and should be judged based on their actions and character – it’s what’s on the inside that matters.
Use Everyday Moments
Everyday situations offer ample opportunity for you and your children to discuss race and diversity. For example, while reading a book or watching a movie, you can point out diverse characters, cultures, and experiences. This can help to normalize the idea of each person being different and encourages children to see differences as something to celebrate.
Encourage Questions
It’s normal for a child to be full of questions when they learn something new. It’s important that you welcome their questions and are open to anything they may be curious about. They should feel safe when speaking to you – never talked down to or worried that they might say the wrong thing. Answer their questions with thoughtfulness, patience, and sensitivity. If you don’t have an answer, it’s okay to say that! Explore the topic together and build a foundation for open communication.
Advocate for Inclusion
Instill the idea that your child should theoretically put themselves in another’s shoes, imagining how someone might feel in a different situation. Discuss the importance of including everyone – regardless of their race or background – and how exclusion can really hurt others. Encourage them to make friends with people from backgrounds that are different from theirs to broaden their perspective.
Children lead by example, so be mindful of your behavior and biases. Model inclusivity, kindness, and respect for all cultures and races. Your actions speak louder than words, and children are much more likely to adopt positive behaviors if they see you displaying them first.
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Talking to your kids about race can require ongoing conversations, an open mind, and most importantly, an open heart. By approaching the subject honestly and empathetically, we can help shake the next generation to embrace diversity, challenge prejudice, and create real change for children.
